Anyone looking for a wedding officiant?

For what it’s worth, if anyone out there is looking to tie the knot this summer (and has a willing partner lined up) and wants to hold the ceremony in northern or central Vermont, I’m a legally elected Justice of the Peace (which you can check here) and am empowered to conduct weddings. I’ll even do the ceremony for free. You want me to wear a rubber octopus on my head and wear sun-god robes, that’s fine with me. I mean, I’d probably need you to chip in toward the cost of the robes, but otherwise, I’m up for pretty much any bizarre freak-out-the-grandparents thing you might want to concoct.

My front lawn is available if you’re not particularly choosy, but there are any number of parks and things in the area that would probably work as least as well. I live in Richmond, VT and so am within a short drive of Burlington, Montpelier, Waterbury, Middlebury, and so on. Contact me at jp@furrs.org if you’re interested.