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jayfurrMy wife's grandfather, retired FBI agent and attorney Bardwell Odum, passed away on Thursday in Dallas. He was just shy of his 92nd birthday (if I understand correctly) and had not been well for a few months, but nonetheless, the news took my wife fairly hard.
When her mom called us from Dayton, Ohio on Thursday evening at 11 pm, I stupidly made a joke about the big pile of cars burning in Dayton instead of thinking "her mom stays up late, but she doesn't normally call at 11 pm, hmm" ... I guess I was pretty tired. When I put my wife on and she got the bad news, I guess it's safe to say that neither one of us was surprised. Sad, yes. But surprised, no.
Sometimes it's just time. When Carole's grandmother Mildred Odum died a few years ago, there had been a sense that she'd been ready for some time. And when we heard that Carole's grandfather had been asking for his favorite foods to be brought to him, even though he didn't have much appetite and couldn't breathe well with a tumor pressing on his esophagus, well, Carole's interpretation was that he was saying his farewells and enjoying things one last time.
Carole feels fairly guilty about not having called him recently. We did talk to him a few weeks ago, one night when her mom was down visiting him in the hospital in Dallas, but he didn't have much energy and they didn't talk for long. Carole said she'd call him again some time and then simply didn't get around to it. She asked me to remind her to call, and I did on a few occasions, but I seemed to have a knack for choosing those occasions when Carole was least mentally with it and not really up for a cheery, we're-rooting-for-you phone call with her grandfather. And now it's too late.
We weren't sure if we'd be able to make the funeral -- we didn't know when it would be held at first, obviously, and then found that it would probably be on Thursday or Friday of this coming week. Without knowing the specifics, I went ahead and made travel arrangements, knowing how tight airline seats can be these days. I'm going to be at a customer in Springfield, Illinois this coming week, Monday through Wednesday (and in fact, I'm in the Chicago airport right now), and wasn't sure I'd be able to work things so I could make the funeral. This coming week is also Carole's last week at the temporary accounting position her accounting placement firm had her in; she was scheduled to work through Friday but they agreed to let Wednesday be her last day.
So: I got on the phone to United Airlines and got an extremely sympathetic, cooperative agent who worked things out. I'll spare you the messy details of rebooking and changing and bending, folding, spindling, and mutilating my open itinerary in order to get me to Dallas and then back to Vermont at the end of it all -- and just say that Carole will meet me at 7:30 AM in O'Hare on Thursday morning and then we'll fly together down to Dallas, same flight, adjoining seats. And we'll fly back home together on Sunday morning. I was, frankly, astonished that we were able to join up that way; I had expected that we'd probably wind up arriving on different flights, hours apart, and so on, and so on. And to top it all off, the courteous agent put me in for a "we apologize for the inconvenience" award from United which arrived a few minutes after the call -- 7,000 frequent flier miles. She didn't have to do that -- I mean, it wasn't her fault or United's fault that Carole's grandfather passed away or that my being away on a business trip required so much juggling and sorting of options -- but it was awful nice of her to do that. I didn't get her name (and I wish that I had), but if anyone from United at some point happens to read this and wants details of the call so they can look up who handled our record, I'd be happy to provide them so she can be recognized for going the extra distance for us.
I didn't know Carole's grandfather all that well -- but on several occasions when I used to travel to Dallas for work more frequently I'd go look her grandparents up and go out to dinner with them. Did that once since her grandmother passed away, a year and a half or so ago. He was a character -- a real Texas patriarch, as my wife sometimes refers to him. You can read all about him if you read stuff about the FBI's manhunt for Lee Harvey Oswald. He was quite involved. Pictures I've seen of him from that era show someone who was every inch the classic FBI agent: square-jawed and resolute.
I know his family will miss him very much. My own grandparents have been gone for decades, so in a sense, he filled that mental role for me as well. Like anyone, he wasn't perfect and he had his flaws... but in the end, I think he left the world a better place.
When her mom called us from Dayton, Ohio on Thursday evening at 11 pm, I stupidly made a joke about the big pile of cars burning in Dayton instead of thinking "her mom stays up late, but she doesn't normally call at 11 pm, hmm" ... I guess I was pretty tired. When I put my wife on and she got the bad news, I guess it's safe to say that neither one of us was surprised. Sad, yes. But surprised, no.
Sometimes it's just time. When Carole's grandmother Mildred Odum died a few years ago, there had been a sense that she'd been ready for some time. And when we heard that Carole's grandfather had been asking for his favorite foods to be brought to him, even though he didn't have much appetite and couldn't breathe well with a tumor pressing on his esophagus, well, Carole's interpretation was that he was saying his farewells and enjoying things one last time.
Carole feels fairly guilty about not having called him recently. We did talk to him a few weeks ago, one night when her mom was down visiting him in the hospital in Dallas, but he didn't have much energy and they didn't talk for long. Carole said she'd call him again some time and then simply didn't get around to it. She asked me to remind her to call, and I did on a few occasions, but I seemed to have a knack for choosing those occasions when Carole was least mentally with it and not really up for a cheery, we're-rooting-for-you phone call with her grandfather. And now it's too late.
We weren't sure if we'd be able to make the funeral -- we didn't know when it would be held at first, obviously, and then found that it would probably be on Thursday or Friday of this coming week. Without knowing the specifics, I went ahead and made travel arrangements, knowing how tight airline seats can be these days. I'm going to be at a customer in Springfield, Illinois this coming week, Monday through Wednesday (and in fact, I'm in the Chicago airport right now), and wasn't sure I'd be able to work things so I could make the funeral. This coming week is also Carole's last week at the temporary accounting position her accounting placement firm had her in; she was scheduled to work through Friday but they agreed to let Wednesday be her last day.
So: I got on the phone to United Airlines and got an extremely sympathetic, cooperative agent who worked things out. I'll spare you the messy details of rebooking and changing and bending, folding, spindling, and mutilating my open itinerary in order to get me to Dallas and then back to Vermont at the end of it all -- and just say that Carole will meet me at 7:30 AM in O'Hare on Thursday morning and then we'll fly together down to Dallas, same flight, adjoining seats. And we'll fly back home together on Sunday morning. I was, frankly, astonished that we were able to join up that way; I had expected that we'd probably wind up arriving on different flights, hours apart, and so on, and so on. And to top it all off, the courteous agent put me in for a "we apologize for the inconvenience" award from United which arrived a few minutes after the call -- 7,000 frequent flier miles. She didn't have to do that -- I mean, it wasn't her fault or United's fault that Carole's grandfather passed away or that my being away on a business trip required so much juggling and sorting of options -- but it was awful nice of her to do that. I didn't get her name (and I wish that I had), but if anyone from United at some point happens to read this and wants details of the call so they can look up who handled our record, I'd be happy to provide them so she can be recognized for going the extra distance for us.
I didn't know Carole's grandfather all that well -- but on several occasions when I used to travel to Dallas for work more frequently I'd go look her grandparents up and go out to dinner with them. Did that once since her grandmother passed away, a year and a half or so ago. He was a character -- a real Texas patriarch, as my wife sometimes refers to him. You can read all about him if you read stuff about the FBI's manhunt for Lee Harvey Oswald. He was quite involved. Pictures I've seen of him from that era show someone who was every inch the classic FBI agent: square-jawed and resolute.
I know his family will miss him very much. My own grandparents have been gone for decades, so in a sense, he filled that mental role for me as well. Like anyone, he wasn't perfect and he had his flaws... but in the end, I think he left the world a better place.
